Sometimes it seems like all I ever think about is my relationship with my husband and why we seem to go round and round in circles discussing/arguing over the same topics. I look back and think back to who I was before we met. Then it translates to how I see myself now and then how my boys might see me. I want them to see a strong woman who stands up for herself and her family.
What I know right now is I am not that person. The more I think of how I am now, the worse I begin to feel about myself and it simply spirals deeper and deeper until I begin questioning if I am even right in my thinking or am I so caught up in myself and my thoughts that I lose site of what everyone else around me is dealing with at that moment. Then I worry about what I missed being bogged down in the depth of my own thoughts and that I am not there for my family since I have few friends that I am in regular contact.
Either way, I know that what is going on in my head right now needs to come to a halt before I break.