Sanctuary seems like it should be place to me. I discovered today, that sometimes a sanctuary can actually be a time. Time spent with someone who can an unload all your hurts, troubles, frustrations, anger, sadness, pity, and the unspeakable that shared with a loved one, would hurt them as much as it hurts you.
That sanctuary may only be 50 minutes but it could be the best 50 minutes you’ve had in months because the person listening on the other end just takes it all in, asks the hard questions, gives you feedback, reminds of past concerns that are resurfacing so that at the end after feeling for the past however many months maybe years like you
- went crazy,
- that it was all in your head,
- that you had been walking around with blinders on,
- that maybe the issues you were trying to cope with between you and your partner are your fault
- and you are responsible for his happiness and well being
- and if you just changed whatever it is you are doing to trigger the behavior, all would be well and right in not just his world but your world too
instead you are reassured that in fact:
- No, you are not crazy
- No, it is not all in your head,
- No, you are not walking around with blinders on
- No, the issues are not yours, they are your partners issues
- No, you are not solely responsible for his happiness and well being
- No, your behavior is not triggering his bad behavior
- No, when your world is well and right, his world may not be and that is okay.
I cannot be more thankful for those 50 minutes today.