Wrinkles, Wrinkles Everywhere
Wrinkles in my hair
From here to there
From there to here
Wrinkles are everywhere
Thank you to Dr. Seuss for everlasting inspiration especially since I am adult and because I am so very tired of adulting.
Wrinkles are those pesky things that not only show up on your body but make appearances in every aspect of your life. From parenting, to work, to self-care, to recovering from abuse of any kind to simply trying to function from one day to the next.
It is especially evident in any kind of divorce proceeding especially when your ability to co-parent is hindered by your child’s other parent and their need for control, always being right and their belief they have done nothing wrong and that everything that went wrong is your fault but when you express this idea, you are being melodramatic and the phrase, “Do you want a little cheese with your wine?” comes from the other’s mouth (or some version of that).
Then while the wrinkles of the legal system involving divorce with children make themselves apparent, the survivor deals with the wrinkles of recovery. That not every day is great but all you can measure it by is that may today, you had no panic attacks or that you were able to shut the abuser’s voice in your head down or at least recognize it for what it is and what it is not.
Eliminating the abuser from your life regardless of how long you were involved with them takes time and patience and forgiveness towards and for yourself more than anything.
Sometimes, you hear something, it may be the first time or the hundredth time but for whatever reason, in that moment when you hear it, it takes root and truly hits home.
That happened for me this past Monday when a fellow survivor told me:
“The best thing about right now is that you can reinvent yourself and be anything you want.”
I did not just understand this in my head as understanding what each of those words means. I understood it in my heart and with my gut. Now I am pulling out of my 6 week funk and have a sense of urgency and emergency to move forward with something positive for me.
Today’s Challenge: It’s easy to say and hard to do but:
Be Patient with Yourself. You deserve it.