Churning, Turning, Swirling

The definition of Churn fits my mood & situation quite perfectly in this moment.  For those with any kind of experience dealing or operating within the legal system, with each motion, communication to your lawyer or anticipation of communication to opposing counsel the liquid in your stomach becomes agitated and no matter how much peppermint you ingest, there simply is no cure.

In the meantime, all the possibilities and ramifications of each choice and stop churn about in your mind and all you can think is that a dark quiet space with  no technology is really the best option for the moment or next many moments.  In spite of all the deep breathing exercises and self care moments you take or do, there never seems to be a way to settle what is churning around in your mind and heart because as an abuse survivor, especially in situations of prolonged exposure, you continually fight the battle of trying to figure out if what you are feeling is your feelings or what your abuser trained you to think.

Today’s Challenge:  Take just 5 minutes to BE STILL.  5 minutes doesn’t seem to terribly long but when you have been physically, emotionally and mentally agitating/churning, that 5 minutes can seem like FOREVER!  Try it though, I dare you.

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