Do Not Feel Free…

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“Do not feel free…To pee” you think as you frantically work to get those side tabs open on the diaper after you stubbed your toe on your other child’s bed frame at 2 am with grit in your eyes that does not let you open them all the way.  All you know is that if you are quick, the little one will go back to sleep and so can you.  And you so desperately need to sleep for at least 3 more hours because you have only been asleep for 2.

In that moment where anyone who has ever changed a diaper has that thought, “Please don’t pee right now”.  It’s that moment as an adult, parent or not, that you whip that diaper off and quickly work to get the new one on before the little one you are changing decides it’s a great time to potty right now.  Whether that moment is at 2 pm or 2 am, all you know is if the little one potties right now, it triggers a chain of events that usually are not what you were hoping for when you started the process.

A Symphony of prayer and motion from start to finish that you hope stays uneventful until everything is strapped back on and tucked back in.

Either way, happy diapering and remember that if you can get through putting the diaper on without incident, it counts as a win.

Today’s Challenge:  Savor the little moments and victories because that is what makes up the tone of your day and the energy you will attract to yourself from the Universe.

Too Much Polish?

Free printable Erma Bombeck quote

Everyone loves a clean house, I think.  Living with someone who seems to put a clean and orderly house as the highest priority, I see how it shapes my boys, especially my oldest.

Don’t get me wrong, keeping things clean and orderly has it’s place but when it results in your kids losing an element of their childhood because they are too worried to pull out toys and make a mess because they want to please a parent then something needs to change.

Personally, I sense I have lost most of my polish in the last 10 years.  Right now, the most polish to my day is my boys’ laughter and joy and soaking up as much of it as possible before orderliness sets back in at the end of the day.

I love the quote above by Erma Bombeck.  It’s the reminder to use all the resources and blessings and heartaches that God places in your path to grow, learn, love,  laugh and pray.  It definitely falls into the line of thought we teach our boys about eating which is, “We do not waste.”  God allotted each person 24 hours per day.  Those 24 hours represent our currency.  How we use it or do not use it reflects in our physical, emotional and spiritual selves.

Today’s Challenge: Do not let your pursuit of Polish distract you from the joys and lessons that the unpolished provide. Use every little bit that you are blessed with and be thankful! It’s too easy to miss those moments.

My Portion…

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As someone who could classify herself as someone with a food addiction,
Portion is one of those words that immediately transports me to measuring out, counting and closely eyeballing food items.  It’s that effort that means you don’t end up  eating the whole package of whatever it is you opened or decided to treat yourself too.

Eating on the sly as I am prone to do only allows for one portioning typically, the whole package.  Thinking about this makes me want to expand my challenge to myself.  I did a month long challenge with my sister and best friend to do a 1 minute plank every day for thirty days. Today we are starting a 30 day sit up challenge.  While the sit up challenge is a healthy physical challenge I am inclined to add the challenge of only eating if I am going to sit down at the kitchen table.  I do a lot of standing and snacking and eating as I work from home and chase my 3 boys during the course of the day.  It means my eating would inherently become intentional and there would be no more scarfing down of candy bars, cookies or coffee beverages during a car ride that is only 10 minutes long.  It adds the benefit of showing my boys that it is important to sit and eat and focus on what you consume instead of just mindlessly standing at the counter in the kitchen and snacking.

The other challenge is thinking of portion outside of the elements of food.  We are all entitled to a portion of happiness, challenges, pain, frustration, joy, exasperation, peace and all the emotions in between.  How we choose to focus on those emotions and react to them makes up our day.

Today’s Challenge:  What emotion are you going to put your focus on?  Whatever emotion it is, remember every emotion has a purpose and a function.  May your day be filled with more positive emotions than negative and may that be what you remember before you fall asleep.

Checking in…

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It’s been awhile since my last post.  There have been a number of things personally that hit the fan.  On this side of the last post, I have a beautiful 3 month old little boy who despite being 5 weeks early is as healthy and happy as a 3 month old little boy should be.

I am at that point of reflection that many people hit as they approach an anniversary.  For me, that anniversary is the start of this blog for dropping my thoughts on a variety of things.  I have missed checking in and doing something just for me.  As I approach my year anniversary, I am reflecting back on where I was physically, mentally and spiritually.  This reflection just started but my hope is by the time I hit my 1 year anniversary for this blog, I will have truly looked back at where I was, assessed where I am at, and made a decided and committed effort to move towards where I want to be in this next year.

Sounds kind of New Year’s resolution-y but that’s where I am at amid lack of solid sleep, trying to be a better mom and going back to work part time from home while balancing all of the same other things on my plate that were there before.

Today’s Challenge:  Remember to take a few deep breaths and pull your ears out of your shoulders.  Relax and remember to be patient with yourself. (Thanks to my mom for that reminder. 🙂 )

Collections…

To be honest, I cannot ever remember coming across today’s daily post word prompt:Panoply.

However, it is an apt word for Saturday after the Monday through Friday I experienced this week.  This week was a panoply of emotions.

To name just a few:

  • Frustration
  • Hatred
  • Rage
  • Fatigue
  • Disappointment
  • Self Loathing
  • Surprise
  • Fear
  • Tension
  • Annoyance
  • Disapproval
  • Pain

By Friday evening, I was tapped out emotionally and physically.  The bright spots in the week were my boys and their hugs and kisses and joy in all around them.  They were my bright spot.

It was one of those weeks where it would have been much easier to just pack it in and hide in a closet until it was over.

Today’s Reminder:  Things will get better, just not today.

A Tart Life…

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A chocolate raspberry Tart sounds a heck of a lot better than something tasting sour or having a sharp edge.  Life usually hands us both opportunities and at different times in our life.  We wish for it to be the rich full bodied comforting taste of the chocolate tart that blends so well with the hint of raspberry all the time.  Unfortunately, many people have told me that everything comes in moderation and I have learned that as well.  The reality is that life presents the sweet and comforting chocolaty richness only every so often.  Any other time, we have to go out and create that for ourselves.  Sometimes, it comes out perfectly and sometimes the spring pan explodes as you are pulling it from the oven.

Amazingly, the sharp edge of life’s tart moments remind us that sweet moments do exist and to cherish each and every single one.  Life is too short.

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I came across this picture of Sophia Loren and all I could think is, “How amazingly gorgeous is she?”  She has that classy, sexy, hourglass vibe going but when you look at her face and particularly her eyes, you know she can be sweet and tart all at the same time.  She has the look of someone who will not take no for an answer unless that is the answer she wants from you and she isn’t going to take any BS.

May each of us find that classy, sassy, tart, intelligent person within ourselves and channel that for our day because it’s a lot better than channeling tired, frustrated, pissed off and angry.

Big Dreams…

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In the last month or so, I have tried to really turn my thinking around and instead of worrying about understanding and fixing the people closest to me, I have started to think about myself and truly doing what I need to do for me.

Several times now, in the last few months the idea of dreams, more specifically my dreams and what they are have come up for discussion.  Yet every time the subject comes up of what MY DREAMS are my mind freezes and the first thought I have is:

I Don’t Have Any Dreams.

Then I just feel sad on top of guilty.  How do I teach my boys to dream if I don’t have any dreams?  Books say to think about what your untapped talents are, what are you passionate about, to think of what you want to be and then tell yourself that’s what you are even if it is the furthest thing from the truth.  Still other books say to create a vision board and look at it everyday.

In truth, I think I’ve realized that I am so mired in the everyday stress of survival with two kids and one on the way plus a strained marriage, that I fail to look up and around me at my whole environment and appreciate what I truly have and dream about the future.

At 36, I figured I would already have an answer to the question:

What do I want to be when I grow up?

Fortunately or not, I don’t have that answer.  What I do know is that I am not the same as I was 1 day ago, 1 year ago or 10 years ago.

And for that I am thankful.  Moving forward in a positive and healthy direction emotionally and physically now becomes the most important thing and my biggest dream for the space of this moment.