Temperature vs. Feeling…

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Lukewarm is that temperature that means your nice, piping hot, fragrant, french vanilla creamer flavored cup of coffee sat to long.  Maybe you got busy making breakfast for you and your family, or the simple diaper change for your 1 month old turned into a full out washcloth bath with new clothes plus a new diaper because the projectile spit portion of the day arrived despite your fresh cup of coffee waiting for you.  Either way, depending on your mood, that tepid cup of coffee either passes muster and you drink it anyway or you sacrifice it to the kitchen drain because it just doesn’t seem worth the effort and calories of drinking it because it just isn’t right.

Sometimes, you make iced coffee with lukewarm coffee.  Depends on the day.

And sometimes, it best describes your mood.  Lukewarm describes how you feel about getting anything remotely productive accomplished, how you feel about important relationships with others or with yourself.  Sometimes, it’s the mood you get where there really is nothing wrong with anything in your life but you feel like everything is messed up beyond reason, nothing can go right, why bother trying to get anything done when it won’t matter if it’s done or not because whoever may notice the accomplished item will have some criticism of it and if they don’t the negative little monster sitting on your shoulder that hijacked your day will have plenty to say.

Today’s Challenge:  Tell that negative shoulder sitting monster to go find somewhere else to be because you have joy, laughter, and fun to invade your mind and control your day. 

Close your eyes and imagine…

No picture needed

Bring your own to mind…

Fluffiest of pillows waiting

Puffiest of clouds floating

Richest chocolate melting

Softest silk gliding

Deep green grass pressing through toes

Silkiest of petals caressing

Lush springs seasonal

Eternal in memories

close your eyes

think of the word lush

what memory comes to mind

what feelings spring forth

enjoy it for the moment

pull it out as needed

The Art of Clean…

Image result for dusting clipart

So many things spring to mind when I think about the word Clean.  As a child, it meant Friday nights where I got stuck dusting because my older sister picked the easier cleaning option of vacuuming.  It brings to mind my Aunt sitting on the floor in my bedroom helping try to find my missing wallet that I could only assume got tossed in the one of those giant black trash bags by my dad because he was tired of getting on me about cleaning my room.  In college, clean definitely always depended on my cohabitants in the residence halls I lived in and the day of the week.

Now, as a mom of three boys and wife to someone who takes clean to a new level in my perspective, my clean is my husband’s dirty and his clean is my spotless.  Talk about each person having their own definition.

As a post-partum obese mom of 3 weeks who started this blog last year in an attempt to cope/deal/process/self-motivate my weight loss journey, clean also brings to mind clean eating.  As I think about my food choices in the last 2 weeks since coming home from the hospital with my preemie baby who passed all the tests and got to come with me, I know my food choices have been better but not stellar.

The biggest lesson that people have told me about but never truly sank in for me until this January as I challenged myself to responding to 25 Gratitude Writing prompts during  the month was that despite not journaling every day like I had planned, as long as I keep with it and finish it, that is all that matters.  The same thing applies to the food I put in my mouth.  Some days are good days and I eat fruits and vegetables like I know I should and I skip the coffee.  Other days, I live off coffee and I try to satisfy the mother load of all chocolate cravings even though I know there is absolutely nothing I can think of that would satisfy it.

Clean is a state of mind no matte what in your life it refers to.  Sometimes clean is good and sometimes it’s overrated.

Today’s Challenge:  Find the joy in the clean and messy moments of the day!

Smells that Bind…

The Scent of a campfire triggers hundreds of funny, sweet and lovable childhood and adulthood memories.  From a flaming marshmallow whizzing past my head by a meager 2 inches to sitting around, looking up at the stars while the front of my shins are on fire from the heat by my backside is freezing cold.

These are the memories I need to pull up in my mind more frequently to combat the ring around the rosy negativity that took up residence and won’t leave me the heck alone.  Time to reprogram my mind, kind of like reprogramming a VCR to record your favorite program (if anyone remembers what that is like 🙂 ).

Today’s Challenge:  Close your eyes, take a few deep breaths in and out, and then let you mind wander to a funny, sweet, uplifting memory.  Don’t worry about when it took place.  Just remember and take note of how it effects your mental and physical state.  Then during your day, recall this feeling when the negative monsters strolling through your mind try to cause a mutiny in my mind.

Simple, Complicated…Both Please!

Image result for fractal design

Is the picture above simple or complicated?

First inclination is to say complicated.  Look at the varying colors, shapes, lines and overall movement of the image.  In reality, it is a fractal design.  Which means, it is simply a mathematical equation repeated an infinite number of times to generate the image.

In the last 2 weeks, as much as I would like for my life to be Simple, it is anything but simple.  Eclampsia put me in the hospital and delivering my third beautiful little boy 5 weeks early with blood pressure that skyrocketed and put me at risk for stroke.  I know that it was all my family on Earth and in Heaven that kept me from stroking despite my blood pressure reaching as high as 199/120.  Now we are all safe and sound at home, I am temporarily out of my position between my parents and sister of being free of blood pressure meds but that seems a small price to pay for a premature baby who has no complications.

In the meantime, personal relationships were tested, confusion, frustration, anger, fear, anxiety, fatigue, physical pain, potential depression put more stress on me physically and mentally.  Nothing seems simple as I focus in on what has gone on in the last 2 weeks.  Everything seems more complicated and confusing.

The reality is that I have been reminded in the last few days, just how much I am loved and supported by not just immediate family but extended family as well.  That simple fact and truth cut through all the non-simple items injecting themselves into my life right now.

Today’s Challenge:  Remember to the most SIMPLE thing, take a deep breath, continue to breath and find the simple happy things in your day to focus your brain on instead of the negative.

Floating or Sinking?

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The idea of floating around the world, moving to the whim of the wind and sun sound like a spectacular idea right about now.  With winter cold and wind blowing to and from outside and inside, going where I want the way I want seems FABULOUS!  If only it were that easy.

I love this picture because it is how I need to see myself.  When I look at this picture I see:

  • Strong Bones
  • Mobility
  • Flexibility
  • Determination
  • Freedom
  • Skill
  • Persistence
  • Desire

I am working on meeting myself and liking myself where I am at currently, physically and emotionally.

Image result for sinking sailboat

This picture was my initial feeling of where I am at, not floating but sinking instead.  As I sat and thought about it more and more, I realized: I am not SINKING!!!

I realized this picture shows what I am not:

  • Abandoned
  • Empty
  • Broken
  • Hopeless


Image result for sinking sailboat

I am more in the midst of the storm, fighting tooth and nail for myself and my kids to make it through to the other side where there is hopefully a calm break.  I know it’s there, just not today.

In this picture I see:

  • Determination
  • Strength
  • Persistence
  • Survival

Today’s Challenge:  You are not sinking. Float because you are sitting here reading this post and others, because you have not given up or given in and until you stop fighting, you are not sunk.  One moment at a time is all you can carry.  Enjoy it for all it is in that moment.  Store up that good moment and build on it.