My Portion…

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As someone who could classify herself as someone with a food addiction,
Portion is one of those words that immediately transports me to measuring out, counting and closely eyeballing food items.  It’s that effort that means you don’t end up  eating the whole package of whatever it is you opened or decided to treat yourself too.

Eating on the sly as I am prone to do only allows for one portioning typically, the whole package.  Thinking about this makes me want to expand my challenge to myself.  I did a month long challenge with my sister and best friend to do a 1 minute plank every day for thirty days. Today we are starting a 30 day sit up challenge.  While the sit up challenge is a healthy physical challenge I am inclined to add the challenge of only eating if I am going to sit down at the kitchen table.  I do a lot of standing and snacking and eating as I work from home and chase my 3 boys during the course of the day.  It means my eating would inherently become intentional and there would be no more scarfing down of candy bars, cookies or coffee beverages during a car ride that is only 10 minutes long.  It adds the benefit of showing my boys that it is important to sit and eat and focus on what you consume instead of just mindlessly standing at the counter in the kitchen and snacking.

The other challenge is thinking of portion outside of the elements of food.  We are all entitled to a portion of happiness, challenges, pain, frustration, joy, exasperation, peace and all the emotions in between.  How we choose to focus on those emotions and react to them makes up our day.

Today’s Challenge:  What emotion are you going to put your focus on?  Whatever emotion it is, remember every emotion has a purpose and a function.  May your day be filled with more positive emotions than negative and may that be what you remember before you fall asleep.

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Traces of Me…

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Shadows of me

Traces really

Nothing substantial

Just a whisper on the wind

Feelings of how I used to be and feel

Nothing concrete anymore

No sense of charging ahead into adventure

Just day to day survival

Start at A

Charge forward to B

C comes next

D is not far behind

The energy begins to fade on the way to E

Soon the day fades into F

Keep going forward to G

Hoping H is not far behind

Intently looking to move quickly through I

J, K, L leap right past in the rush of mid afternoon

Pushing quickly through M, N, O, P

O through X is a mystery that melts into the nightly routine

Y is so late in the days journey

To Z, sometimes it seems it never gets asked much less answered.

Soon, the Trace of the day settles

Into the dark of night

You know you made it through

How? you are not sure

You simply know that the journey starts in the morning

Again with A until

Z makes it’s appearance

Today’s Challenge: Enjoy all the little moments that make you feel love, that make you laugh because above all else the trace of that joy and happiness should be what you and your loved ones remember for the day.

Checking in…

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It’s been awhile since my last post.  There have been a number of things personally that hit the fan.  On this side of the last post, I have a beautiful 3 month old little boy who despite being 5 weeks early is as healthy and happy as a 3 month old little boy should be.

I am at that point of reflection that many people hit as they approach an anniversary.  For me, that anniversary is the start of this blog for dropping my thoughts on a variety of things.  I have missed checking in and doing something just for me.  As I approach my year anniversary, I am reflecting back on where I was physically, mentally and spiritually.  This reflection just started but my hope is by the time I hit my 1 year anniversary for this blog, I will have truly looked back at where I was, assessed where I am at, and made a decided and committed effort to move towards where I want to be in this next year.

Sounds kind of New Year’s resolution-y but that’s where I am at amid lack of solid sleep, trying to be a better mom and going back to work part time from home while balancing all of the same other things on my plate that were there before.

Today’s Challenge:  Remember to take a few deep breaths and pull your ears out of your shoulders.  Relax and remember to be patient with yourself. (Thanks to my mom for that reminder. 🙂 )

Temperature vs. Feeling…

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Lukewarm is that temperature that means your nice, piping hot, fragrant, french vanilla creamer flavored cup of coffee sat to long.  Maybe you got busy making breakfast for you and your family, or the simple diaper change for your 1 month old turned into a full out washcloth bath with new clothes plus a new diaper because the projectile spit portion of the day arrived despite your fresh cup of coffee waiting for you.  Either way, depending on your mood, that tepid cup of coffee either passes muster and you drink it anyway or you sacrifice it to the kitchen drain because it just doesn’t seem worth the effort and calories of drinking it because it just isn’t right.

Sometimes, you make iced coffee with lukewarm coffee.  Depends on the day.

And sometimes, it best describes your mood.  Lukewarm describes how you feel about getting anything remotely productive accomplished, how you feel about important relationships with others or with yourself.  Sometimes, it’s the mood you get where there really is nothing wrong with anything in your life but you feel like everything is messed up beyond reason, nothing can go right, why bother trying to get anything done when it won’t matter if it’s done or not because whoever may notice the accomplished item will have some criticism of it and if they don’t the negative little monster sitting on your shoulder that hijacked your day will have plenty to say.

Today’s Challenge:  Tell that negative shoulder sitting monster to go find somewhere else to be because you have joy, laughter, and fun to invade your mind and control your day. 

Close your eyes and imagine…

No picture needed

Bring your own to mind…

Fluffiest of pillows waiting

Puffiest of clouds floating

Richest chocolate melting

Softest silk gliding

Deep green grass pressing through toes

Silkiest of petals caressing

Lush springs seasonal

Eternal in memories

close your eyes

think of the word lush

what memory comes to mind

what feelings spring forth

enjoy it for the moment

pull it out as needed

The Art of Clean…

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So many things spring to mind when I think about the word Clean.  As a child, it meant Friday nights where I got stuck dusting because my older sister picked the easier cleaning option of vacuuming.  It brings to mind my Aunt sitting on the floor in my bedroom helping try to find my missing wallet that I could only assume got tossed in the one of those giant black trash bags by my dad because he was tired of getting on me about cleaning my room.  In college, clean definitely always depended on my cohabitants in the residence halls I lived in and the day of the week.

Now, as a mom of three boys and wife to someone who takes clean to a new level in my perspective, my clean is my husband’s dirty and his clean is my spotless.  Talk about each person having their own definition.

As a post-partum obese mom of 3 weeks who started this blog last year in an attempt to cope/deal/process/self-motivate my weight loss journey, clean also brings to mind clean eating.  As I think about my food choices in the last 2 weeks since coming home from the hospital with my preemie baby who passed all the tests and got to come with me, I know my food choices have been better but not stellar.

The biggest lesson that people have told me about but never truly sank in for me until this January as I challenged myself to responding to 25 Gratitude Writing prompts during  the month was that despite not journaling every day like I had planned, as long as I keep with it and finish it, that is all that matters.  The same thing applies to the food I put in my mouth.  Some days are good days and I eat fruits and vegetables like I know I should and I skip the coffee.  Other days, I live off coffee and I try to satisfy the mother load of all chocolate cravings even though I know there is absolutely nothing I can think of that would satisfy it.

Clean is a state of mind no matte what in your life it refers to.  Sometimes clean is good and sometimes it’s overrated.

Today’s Challenge:  Find the joy in the clean and messy moments of the day!